Bernie Thinks in Boxes by Jess Horn, ill. Zoe Bennett

Bernie Thinks in Boxes written by Jess Horn, illustrated by Zoe Bennett

Picture book published by Affirm Press

“Bernie liked boxes. When things fit into boxes, they made sense.” (Bernie Thinks in Boxes)

Bernie Thinks in Boxes is a poignant yet positive tale about neurodivergence, told ingeniously and with pefect age-appropriateness.

Guest author post about Bernie Thinks in Boxes by Jess Horn for Joy in Books at PaperbarkWords blog

The story behind the story by Jess Horn

There’s so much story behind a story. A published book is like that single, stunning wedding photograph you hang on the wall, with perfect smiles and brilliant attire, and a glint of a backstory in the couple’s eyes.

My debut picture book, Bernie Thinks in Boxes, has a lifetime of backstory packed into those few hundred words. It’s a story I wrote during a period of learning and discovery. I was learning about writing children’s books and the publishing industry, but I was also learning about neurodivergence, and most of all, myself.

Bernie Thinks in Boxes is about a girl who categorises her world into boxes. She has boxes for everything: for home, for school and even for the park. When things fit into boxes, they make sense. But one day, Bernie’s boxes collide, and she must find a way to make sense of her world again.

Three years ago, however, Bernie was not an autistic girl who respected her needs and boundaries. Her character began as an undiagnosed autistic boy who pushed himself to conform to social norms despite his anxieties. That obviously wasn’t a great story, so for me, and for Bernie, I had to work out why.

Throughout the year I worked on this story, I received an autism diagnosis, and this gave me the missing piece of information to understand Bernie (and myself). One evening as I pondered how to help Bernie overcome her discomfort to stay at (and even enjoy) a friend’s party, something finally clicked. She didn’t need to stay. She didn’t need to enjoy it. And nor did I. This discovery was the little breath of freedom I needed, and it was also the answer to Bernie’s party problem.

Alongside the discovery of my neurodivergence, the writing of Bernie Thinks in Boxes led me on an important author journey. I was learning the craft, applying information from courses and critiques, and discovering the magic in making picture books. The creation of this book involved mostly thinking, and much less writing. The ‘aha’ moment when it started falling into place was well worth the effort and time – and it was a long time coming!

Writing is something I’ve always loved. I was the kid who wrote stories on my lunch break. The kid whose contribution to the school drama show was a poem about stage fright. The kid who took to any emotion with a pen and paper. Writing has often come easier to me than speaking. It gives me the time and space to express my thoughts without the social pressures of conversation.

As an adult, reconnecting with writing and rediscovering children’s literature began a wonderful fixation that has been driving me for years. Don’t ask me about the weather, or what I did on the weekend. Ask me about writing, and you’ll be welcomed into my world with open arms. The buzz I get when the words flow, or a plot clicks into place, fills me with head-to-toe joy. So much so, that through writing, I’ve found myself doing new things I never thought I’d be able to do.

Cue, The Book Launch.

One minute I was a person writing silent stories in the dark, and the next, I was on stage speaking to an audience about my book. To be fair it was years – not minutes – but it still took me by surprise. To give you an idea of how not ‘public-speaky’ I am, please refer to my earlier comment about my school drama show. And yet there I was on stage, with actual words coming out of me. And I could do it, for the love of books!

Writing has carried me beyond many boundaries I’d never thought to conquer. From pitching and self-promotion to podcast interviews and public speaking, I’ve pushed through fears to share my stories with the world. And I’m so glad I did. Bernie Thinks in Boxes started as a funny little reflection of my thinking style. But hearing from readers who have connected with the story has shown me just how powerful it can be to share insight into different ways of thinking. The knowledge not everyone thinks like me is relatively recent learning. But the more I hear from readers, the more I realise I’m not alone. And that shared experience is a gift.

Jess Horn is a children’s author from Sydney, with a background in speech pathology and a fondness for spoonerisms. Her debut picture book, Bernie Thinks in Boxes, is out now. You can find out more about Jess on her website at www.jesshornauthor.com.

Bernie Thinks in Boxes at Affirm Press