I’m Not Really Here
by Gary Lonesborough
(A&U Books for Children and Young Adults)
I’m Not Really Here by Gary Lonesborough is the WINNER of the CBCA 2025 Book of the Year: Older Readers category.
“Back in my room, I stare at myself in the mirror of my wardrobe. As I sip my glass of water, it hits me that Patience is my home now. I don’t know anyone here. It’s a new life, a new town, a new home, but I’m still the same fat brown boy in the mirror.” (I’m Not Really Here)
Author Interview: Gary Lonesborough
Congratulations on I’m Not Really Here being announced as the winner of the 2024 CBCA Book of the Year: Older Readers, Gary.
Thank you for speaking to Joy in Books at PaperbarkWords blog.
How did you react when you heard the exciting news and how are you celebrating your win?
When I heard I had won, I was completely caught off guard and kind of shocked, to be honest. Obviously when you write, you’re writing a story in a moment in time, you’re not thinking about winning awards or receiving accolades. I was just so thrilled and humbled and I feel so grateful. I am celebrating by visiting home and my family in Bega immediately following the awards.
What is your background, where are you based and how do you juggle your time?
I am a Yuin man who grew up in Bega on the far south coast of NSW. I’m now based in Sydney and work full time in youth work. These days, most of my writing is done at night and on weekends.
Your title I’m Not Really Here sets the tone for your story. Could you briefly explain how this title is significant?
The title refers to this state of feeling like you’re not in your environment, detached from the situation and somewhere else in your mind. It’s a feeling of being all in your head rather than in the present moment, which is something I felt a lot and often as a teen.
Your three book covers (Australian editions) complement each other in design and colour. They tell a story when placed side by side. How do you think the cover of I’m Not Really Here invites the reader into your tale?
I think the cover is really intriguing. It kind of sets a tone for a potential story about friendship or love between these two boys, one of which is sporty and fit, and the other is shorter, chubby and seems a little shy. They are visually two very opposite people, but they are both represented as Aboriginal people. I think the cover invites the reader into a story about these two boys and I think the contrast in characters visually is intriguing for the reader.
The protagonists across your novels have an endearing quality. Could you tell us more about that?
I think my protagonists have that quality as I am often exploring themes of identity and self-love. My characters are all resilient young people who have grown up in difficult circumstances and enduring things that shape their sense of identity. I think there is a universal relatability to all of my characters that readers can’t help but empathise and empathise with elements of their journeys.
Could please briefly introduce us to Jonah, the protagonist of I’m Not Really Here, and tell us something about him being a writer and being the character most closely related to you personally?
I figured out early on that Jonah was going to be a very personal character to me. The decision to make him a writer was something I tried out and realised really worked. He ultimately reflects a lot of the things I was going through as a teen – wanting to be a writer, struggling with my body image and my queer identity, and dealing with grief, trying to fit in and be liked. For Jonah, writing is the same for him and me: a way of expressing ourselves and a therapeutic method of coping with those challenges.
What is the importance of having gay, Aboriginal characters in your work?
I think those kinds of characters have just been absent from popular Australian fiction for a long time. It’s strange to realise that, because we do exist and we should be able to read books that reflect parts of our identities. It’s so important in the world, particularly now when there is so much resistance to queer progress across the world that books are being placed on the shelves and into the hands of young readers that show them a reflection of their identity. It’s so important this representation is out there because it shows a reader they are not alone, that there’s nothing wrong with them and that there is hope for the future.
You have had two novels published before I’m Not Really Here – The Boy From the Mish (published as Ready When You Are in the US) and We Didn’t Think It Through. How is this novel different from your earlier works?
I think all my books to speak to some similar themes. I do think I’m Not Really Here differs in that it features a character who is gay and has already embraced that and lives openly as a gay Aboriginal person. It also explores other themes I was keen to, such as body image issues and grief.
How has your writing developed or changed since The Boy From the Mish and We Didn’t Think It Through?
I do believe my writing has improved in the sense that I am now more confident in the words I am committing to the page and I am more aware of the editorial process from the beginning, meaning I am considering changes and improvements in the drafting process. I also have a better sense of structure so I can tell now when I’ve reached the midpoint of a story and more effectively get things right in a first draft.
What are you writing or working on now or next?
I have a new book coming out early next year! It’s called Good Young Men, so keep an eye out.
What have you been reading that you would like to recommend?
The last book I read was The Institute by Stephen Kong and I would certainly recommend that!
How can your readers contact you?
I am most active on my Instagram, and do often hear from readers on there! I am also contactable through my website: garylonesborough.com
Congratulations again Gary. I’m sure that everyone wants to celebrate with you, your publisher, Allen & Unwin, and all who are involved in the creation of your book.
Joy Lawn, in association with Dmcprmedia
Inside the 2025 CBCA Shortlist
(Thanks to A&U for the review copy)
paperbarkwords.blog 
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